Lori's Cocktails & Talk-Tales

This is my fantastic friend Lori. She's an amazing mom/wife/VFW (viking fucking warrior) of three great kids and her home is usually where I am when I need a pick me up, a laugh, a drink, an oatmeal cookie, a good cry and a coffee. She's always given me great advice from shoes to jello shots and is a blast to hang around. She's keeping it real at Motherloadtv.com and I know you're gonna love her.

-Erin

Hello friends and welcome to Cocktails & Talk-Tales!

These articles are a collection of my thoughts, and observations based on discussions over cocktails with various moms, in my neighborhood and beyond. 

 

 

“Talk-Tale” topics range from the serious to the absurd and everything in between, much like motherhood. Regardless of where the conversation takes us, I have always enjoyed a cocktail or three, and a laugh with witty, smart women who are not afraid to be themselves, and let it all hang out.

 

I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoy writing them.

 

Lori Sears-Malik

Mother of Three

Viking F$cking Warrior

 

 

Confessions of an Ex-Career Mom

 

Four years ago I was a busy working mom. My day would begin with a rise and shine time of 5am to prepare and/or review my notes for a 6am teleconference with our UK office. At 7am, I was rousing the kids, getting them dressed, preparing breakfast, packing lunches, showering, dressing, applying make-up, and out the door at 8am to drop off two kids at daycare. Rushing to daycare pick up for 6pm was the bane of my existence.  Don’t get me started on dinner preparations. I traveled to visit offices in Calgary, Montreal, and Vancouver, three times a year, occasionally traveling to my head office in New Jersey.  This shit show was my reality for many years.

 

My dear friend Erin Keaney, who was a mere acquaintance at the time, recently told me that she used to watch me drive up to the daycare in my little red Mercedes (aka The Cherry Bomb) dressed in a suit and heels, with my husband pulling up in a different car behind me, to drop off the kids.  Both of us were poker faced and sprinting to drop kids off.  She admitted that in her mind, she had created a whole back -story about my husband and I as a couple on the brink of marital disaster.  We were, in fact, exhausted by 8am, but had a pretty great relationship.

 

When I turned 41 I found out I was pregnant with our third child. This event was unplanned and due to an over consumption of champaign, and a “devil may care” attitude toward birth control. “What could happen this one time?”  I was in my 40’s.  I was probably going to start going through “the change” soon.  Well, 60 days later we found out that it was NOT “the change”.  I intentionally booked my C-section for April Fools Day and we named her Alice.

 

As the end of my twelve-month maternity leave loomed close, we had some decision making to do.  Was I going to remain at home, or was I going to return to the chaos of being a working mom?  Our family would take a financial hit if I left my salary behind, but we had to consider the interests of all involved.  We decided to make the necessary sacrifices that would allow me to stay home for a couple of years.

 

Three years later, my Cherry Bomb is long gone, and my shit show involves a whole new cast of characters.  My life is very different, equally crazy but in a different way. Most days I rock a ponytail and crooked bangs since I started cutting them on my own.  I walk around with magic marker on my neck, and most days I hate to admit, I will go for a run in the morning and not shower until 8pm.  When I do carve out some time to shower after lunch, I always forget to put on deodorant.

 

Don’t get me wrong, I still love make up, and high heels and relish every opportunity to put them on, it’s just that my daily uniform no longer involves these things.  My day involves, breakfast, lunch, play dates, food prep, dishes, laundry – repeat (especially the dishes and laundry). My house is full of kid chaos and is a disaster most days. I actually have an area in my dining room called Crumb Corner. I eat lunch standing over the kitchen sink, or sometimes not at all, and this is just fine with me.

 

Having now been in both stay at home and career mom territories, all I have to say is we should all recognize that parenting is hectic, and exhausting.  We are ALL doing the best we can regardless of whether your energy is spent mostly in the home or mostly in the workplace.

 

Ladies, give each other a nod of acknowledgement, give each other a smile, hell, give each other a high five for getting up every morning and doing it all over again. These are supposed to be the best times of our lives.

 

Embrace your Mother load in whatever form it takes.    

 

Sleeping with my eyes open at some school thing.